You know, there are very few videogames that celebrate the Bacchanalia of life. You know, old-school revelry, with wine, women and song. You've got Midway's upcoming Narc, which pretty much handles a cop's potential abuse of LSD, pot and crack. That's the rough stuff. We've seen BMX XXX come and go (thankfully), and that was, well, pretty dang crass. And perhaps this year's The Bard Tale will teach us all how to sing the ancient beer song with more verve than ever. But none are as hell bent on showing you the female mammary gland as much as this new one.
Topheavy's The Guy Game is that game, a parlor game about tits. It essentially gives you the US's infamous Spring Break event captured in videogame form. The unofficial popular college week break (once known as Easter) comprising hormonal revelry, drunken kids and some pretty sloppy beer games has been orchestrated into a videogame and turned, with some success I might add, into a trivia game that rewards your trivia knowledge with live footage of college girls' breasts.
Depending on who you are, playing a game with hot chicks who show their breasts as a reward could be the second coming. Or... it's the greatest offense to all of mankind. We all know we're nearing the end of proper civilization, so the question is this: Is The Guy Game the tip of the iceberg or are we only half way there?
Gameplay, Boobs and Sound
What do you actually do in the The Guy Game? Well, hopefully you'll be keeping your hands on the controller and having fun outsmarting your friends in a silly match of wits. Topheavy has gone to Spring Break at South Padre Island, Texas, filmed the entire game with up to 60 live female contestants, and produced the entire concoction with 20 episodes, giving gamers a range of trivia type variants, a few mini-games, and some cool multiplayer tricks to add a distinct college level sense of humor to it all. For $39.99, the prospect of seeing 60 topless women, plus your cheerleaders (explained later), seems like harmless, horny thrills.
Honestly, if you've watched The Man Show and you like TV shows such as Jack-ass, and you love seeing random, mostly hot college chicks take off their bikini tops (and um, we also saw some pretty fine G-strings, too), you'll love this. You can play the single-player mode (four sections, Foreplay, The Ballz Game, The TitWitz Game, and the Hottie Challenge) or, with up to three others, enter into a four-person multiplayer game. It's fun either way (and you'll see boobs either way), but The Guy Game is truly designed as a party game with friends.
The single-player game starts off by watching Matt Sadler -- your short, always inebriated-looking host -- ask bikini-clad girls trivia questions via FMV. Before they answer, you get to see and choose from four answers, one of which is correct. You start off with 800 points per question and as you take time to pick, the point total decreases. Two answers will eventually disappear from the screen, leaving you with a 50% chance of picking the right choice.
If you pick quickly, and you're right, you get the optimum amount of points, which helps you progress. But the guessing that really counts is takes place on the Flash-O-Meter. Unlike your ordinary trivia game, you also have to bet on whether the Hottie knows the answer. Remember now, this game is about showing boobs (or at least teasing you in the process). The Guy Game doesn't just test your trivia knowledge, it tests the average college chick's trivia knowledge. By guessing the Hottie's answer correctly, you'll move up the indicator on the Flash-O-Meter. This adds that little wrinkle of randomness to make this game work, and of course, it works to show off more female flesh.
You can finish a chapter of The Guy Game without moving the Flash-O-Meter from Level 1's "Soft and Squishy" to Level 3's "Super Stiff," but that's missing the point. Each time a hottie misses an answer, she flashes her boobs. When the Flash-O-Meter is low, at level 1, you'll see her flash her boobs, covered with the Guy Game logo. When it's at level 2 ("Sorta Chubby"), you'll see pixilated boobs. And finally, when you've moved up the meter to level 3, you'll see the Hottie's breasts each time she guesses wrong. You'll also see your cheerleader's boobs, too. That's the peculiar "genius" of the Flash-O-Meter.
Oh, a side game that we came up with here at IGN is to guess which Hottie likes to show her boobs. Some are really shy, while others literally push them together and flop them wildly into the camera. Sometimes it's the big-breasted girl who's shy, while the small-tittied woman wins the crowd over with her enthusism and, erm, flair. In either case, we'll always vote for enthusiasm. Always.
After Foreplay, you'll play a mini-game called Ballz, a decent variant of skeeball that features neither women nor their breasts, and following that, you'll play TitWitz. This is good stuff. Each Hottie is guaranteed to answer this question wrong, but you're faced with choosing which wrong answer she comes up with. You really become close to these girls during this session… You either love them or hate their incredible ignorance, but either way, Titwitz is a rather ingenious take on the raucous party that is Spring Break.
Once you've cleared Titwitz, you'll move from the first three stages to the fourth, the Hottie Challenge. This fourth game is an FMV event where the four contestants take off their tops and partake in a mini-game of some kind, be in topless Hippity-Hop races, topless sack races, or topless Hula Hoop contests. Anyway you look at it, it's topless. One last thing, in the setup, you pick a cheerleader, a woman who appears on the loading screen and who, when you perform well, will strip down until she's topless. You can't erm...beat that...
The premise of The Guy Game may strike you as crass, but I gotta tell you, it definitely struck an, eh-hem, true chord with me. There is just something about the idea of women flashing their boobs that's very…erm…attractive. I can't quite pinpoint it… Call it "lowbrow" culture or smut, but willing friendly college girls who're having fun showing their boobs is difficult to argue with. Also, since the events were filmed live, you'll hear people chiming in with correct answers off screen. This side bonus is that they shout out just as many wrong answers as right ones, to get the Hottie to pick the wrong one and show her boobs. Playing the single-player campaign, the first two hours or so was a blast, relatively speaking. But the novelty wears off soon after. You know, there she is, yet another girl standing with eyes glazed over, almost surely unaware of what Spock's role on the Enterprise was, how many calories there are in teaspoon of sperm, or what causes a tidal wave.
As a single-player game, The Guy Game runs into problems. It's super short. Unlike You Don't Know Jack, each time you play through it, by default the questions are the same. So, it's easy the second time through an episode of The Guy Game to nail the answer. Cheating is pretty easy too. Go through three-fourths of it and then quit, restart, and you'll know the answers. Once you play through and beat all 20 episodes -- which takes about five to 10 hours, you'll know most, if not all, of the answers. If you've played it a few times and then play it with your friends, you're also going to know the answers, giving you an unfair advantage. Topheavy has worked to solve these problems, however, by providing alternative trivia questions, and the result is good. There are 1,000 additional questions that fall into these four categories, TV/Movie, Sports, Music, and General, which you can choose to play with in the single or multiplayer modes. They also mix up the placement of the answers, so if you've memorized their order, and pull off quick taps, you'll lose out. These additions give more depth to the single-player campaign's replay value. But it doesn't necessarily make the single-player game great.
The multiplayer game is where it's at, where the depth of the game lies (as deep as a game about boobs can go, of course). The game is simply more fun with other people, drunk or sober. First, you'll get more than one mini-game. Second, you can do really mean things to hamper your friend's progress. Players start by picking their rank, with the top being the President and the lowest being the Asshole. As the Pres, you can make rules and perform "moves" to set back your opponent. You can perform a Slap (a virtual on-screen slap is delivered to a lower ranking player), a Fatboy (you substitute the sexy cheerleader with an ugly fat man with boobs -- eccchh!), Taunt (Lucky Lacy, the game's other narrator, will make fun of you), Show Girl (see your girl's full length body), or if you've been dealt the Asshole ranking, you can send a fart across the screen. Simple, silly, and amateurish. But given the right atmosphere, The Guy Game is very entertaining.
Third, for those of you who suffer from A.D.D., or who like betting or parlor games, there are all sorts of extra little game tricks of the trade. Ass Savers are just that, things that save your score from taking a beating. You can double up, headbutt opponents or pull out your immunity save. Plus, there are all kinds of coins, various little extra cash-bringers that appear randomly on screen to add to your purse. You can tell Topheavy's designers have played a lot of parlor games, and have thought out just how much fun all this extra stuff can really be while your friends argue about whose Hottie's tits are better.
The graphics and sound in a game like this are hardly worth much text. The game's a mixture of FMV -- full-motion video -- which was shot live, and is relatively good quality, and simple CG backgrounds. It's a visual medium, the videogames business, and Topheavy pretty much lets the video do all the talking, so all of the other graphics really don't amount to much anyway, and anyone who buys this game won't really care anyway. The same goes for the sound; the sound quality isn't the very best in the world, but if you're in for a fun, boob ride, you won't notice a thing. The announcers, however, Steve and Dick? They just say stupid, stupid things. Given the lowest common denominator goal for this game, however, they're not far off. And Lucy or Lacey? Whatever her name is, she quicky becomes repetitive.
As for the differences between the Xbox and PlayStation 2 versions, there is so little to separate them, it makes very little difference which version you own. The game content is exactly the same on both versions. Also, the PS2 version stacks up there with the Xbox version in the "graphics" department, so you're pretty much guaranteed to see, hear and play the exact game.
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